


Not Alone

by starbitz



Series: drabbles [8]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguity, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Meetings, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loneliness, Lunch, M/M, New Friends, i wrote this in the notes on my phone lol, jeongin has a deadbeat mom, not pure angst, nothing explicit don't worry, this was a stand-alone but i changed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2020-11-08 08:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20832308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbitz/pseuds/starbitz
Summary: Jeongin didn't remember when he got here. He just ran out of his house with his backpack and ended up on this rooftop, alone.





	1. Rooftop Blues

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this was originally a stand-alone short, but i started writing a second part so i just reuploaded the first part along with a new second one! i hope you enjoy <3

“Hey,” a gentle voice said. Jeongin was immediately brought back to reality at the word. He tensed, then relaxed, and that was when he registered the light weight of a hand on his shoulder, but the feeling was gone as soon as he realized it was there. “Are you okay?” the voice asked, now directly next to him. The owner of the voice had decided to sit down on the edge of the rooftop right next to him, but Jeongin couldn’t find it in himself to will him away. 

(The voice was smooth and deep. Comforting. That was the word that came to Jeongin’s mind.)

Jeongin blinked his eyes. They burned, a lot, he realized, and he didn’t know if that was from crying or staring at the horizon without blinking for an unknown length of time. He huffed out a sigh and rubbed at his eyes, not remembering exactly what the boy asked him. Come to think of it, Jeongin didn’t actually know who the boy was either, he just sat down next to Jeongin and didn’t pry, and it was oddly comforting. A stranger that didn’t pry. It had been a long time since he met one of those. 

Jeongin didn’t remember when he got here. He just ran out of his house with his backpack and ended up on this rooftop, alone, which he had done before. 

“Are you okay?” the boy asked again, leaning slightly into Jeongin’s field of vision to make sure he was there. This time Jeongin got a good look at his face. He seemed close to the same age as Jeongin and he had freckles he could see even with the sun setting. His hair was dyed blonde and fell into his eyes a bit. 

(In a different situation, maybe Jeongin would’ve described him with the word cute. But right now, he was the personification of the word comfort.)

“I think so,” Jeongin breathed quietly. Truth is, Jeongin had no idea how much longer he would’ve sat there if this boy’s gentle touch didn’t bring him back to himself. 

“I saw your feet from down there,” the boy said, pointing to the concrete a couple of floors directly below them. “I was curious who would be up here, considering its almost 8 pm.”

Jeongin blinked at him. He didn’t realize it was that late, but considering the last bits of color on the horizon were starting to disappear, he really had been here for a while. 

“Lost in thought?” the stranger asked. 

Jeongin paused for a second before he answered. “You could say that.”

“What’s your name?” the boy asked, voice still gentle. Jeongin wondered if he could tell that he had been crying. He didn’t necessarily want to know the answer. 

“Jeongin,” he replied. 

“I’m Felix,” the boy said, a small smile on his face. He extended a warm hand to Jeongin, who took it a bit hesitantly, but he managed to smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Felix,” Jeongin mumbled, seemingly testing the name on his tongue. “Are you not from around here?”

“No, I’m not,” Felix let go of his hand. He stared off at the fading bits of pink on the horizon, a reminiscent smile on his face. “I’m from Australia. Just moved here.”

“Do you like it here?” Jeongin asked. 

Felix breathed out a sigh as a small gust of wind blew at their faces. “It’s not too bad. It’s just kind of lonely,” he said, turning to look back at Jeongin. “I’m still getting used to this place.” 

Jeongin bit his lip and turned back to look at the skyline. “I’m sorry it’s lonely.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Felix assured him. “Thanks to you, I now know about this place. It’s got a hell of a view.”

Jeongin nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, it is nice up here.”

“Are you up here a lot?” Felix asked hesitantly. “If you don’t mind me asking,”

“It’s okay,” Jeongin said. “But yeah. I like coming up here when I need fresh air.”

“I might start doing that too,” Felix said thoughtfully. “If that’s okay,”

Jeongin laughed lightly, which made Felix turn to him in slight surprise. “I don’t own this space,” he smiled at Felix, gesturing to the ledge they were sitting on. “You don’t have to ask for my permission to come up here.”

“Just wanted to make sure,” Felix smiled back. Then, his face softened. “Are you feeling any better now?”

“I am,” Jeongin said softly. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Felix said. He looked back out at the skyline, then up at the rest of the sky. A lot of the stars were visible now. “This was a healing experience.”

“Maybe we’ll bump into each other up here again later,” Jeongin said, a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. He did find Felix interesting. It’ll be nice to get to know him a little better. 

“Yeah,” Felix grinned. “Maybe we will.”


	2. Felix is Friend Shaped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a time skip

“Hey!” a familiar voice yelled from behind Jeongin. He smiled and turned over his shoulder to see Felix among the crowd of students jogging up to his side. Jeongin moved out of the way of the oncoming students so that he could stop and wait for him. When Felix finally caught up to him, he was a little out of breath. “Good morning, Innie,” he said with a happy grin, easily slinging his arm over his shoulder. 

“Hi, Felix,” Jeongin replied simply, his lips still smiling. They started walking towards the entrance of the school. “You’re in a good mood this morning.”

“Yeah, and why aren’t you?” Felix asked innocently, poking his chest with a quirk of his brow. “The weather’s great already and it’s Friday.”

Jeongin shrugged and looked up at the school sign as they walked under it. His mother had yelled at him this morning about the front door being left unlocked all night even though he was asleep when she got home last night. He bit his lip, wanting to forget about it. Today was a nice day, as Felix said, and it was Friday too, so he didn’t have to be at school this weekend (duh). He wasn’t even obligated to be home, either. He turned back to Felix, who seemed to have been waiting for his answer. “I don’t know,” he said, shrugging slightly.

“I’ve got an idea on how to make your day better,” Felix said excitedly, stopping and moving so that he was facing Jeongin. “Let’s go out to eat after school.”

“What? Where?” Jeongin asked. 

“Somewhere like in those mukbang videos we watched together,” Felix grinned. “Instead of watching we can actually eat. Is that something you’d want to do? We don’t have to go if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, no. That sounds like fun, actually,” Jeongin said, smiling again. “I’m already kind of hungry just thinking about it.”

“That’s good to hear,” Felix laughed. “Just save some room after lunch. We’ll probably eat a lot.”

And at that, Felix was off to his homeroom, which was on the second floor, with a cute wink. Jeongin was left in the hallway as he watched his new friend disappear up the stairs. Once he was out of sight, Jeongin started walking to his classroom with a new warmth in his chest and a small, fond smile on his lips. 

He was thankful to Felix for more things than he could list on both hands. He kind of knew about Jeongin’s mother and how she was the absolute worst sometimes, but he never asked him about her unless he was willing to talk about it. In the past few weeks that they had known each other, Felix had made him feel more at home than he felt under his own roof. Felix was comforting. He was like a breath of fresh air. Jeongin could never wait to see him next. 

Jeongin tried not to watch the clock and silently count down the minutes until he could be out of the building for the weekend. He always looked forward to being with Felix no matter what they were doing together. Now, he was swinging his legs over the edge of the building as he and Felix sat in their spot on the roof to eat lunch. Felix was talking about something his little sister did before he left for school this morning and Jeongin listened happily, their lunches were long forgotten as they talked. 

After lunch was over, there were only a few more hours until they were out for the weekend and this was the first time in a long time that Jeongin was looking forward to it. 

When the final bell sounded, he tried not to look visibly excited as he gathered his things. Felix was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Jeongin walked out of his classroom, tapping one of his feet on the ground as he scanned the hallway for Jeongin’s face. When he found him, he smiled and met him halfway. 

“You hungry?” he asked. Jeongin nodded. “Good.”

“Where are we going?” Jeongin asked curiously. 

Felix walked a little in front of Jeongin and faced him, holding out a hand. He grinned. “Just follow me.”

Jeongin stared at his hand briefly before grabbing hold of it as Felix pretty much dragged him towards the front gate. They talked a little on the way there and Felix mentioned that it wasn’t very much further. He said that it was kind of near his house. 

When they got to the place Felix brought him to eat, Jeongin smiled when he saw the sign. He had been here one other time, but it had been a while. Felix noticed his grin. “Have you been here before?”

“It’s been a long time, but yeah. I remember it being really good.”

Felix smiled back at him and pulled him through the front door. There seemed to be a lot of other high schoolers there, all of them with the same idea: going out to eat after school. Felix and Jeongin sat by themselves a little away from where some of the other people were sitting.

They ended up eating until they were full, just as Felix predicted they would, and Jeongin laughed a lot more than he had in a while. He didn’t want this moment to end. He didn’t want to go home. 

“Do you want to come to my place when we leave?” Felix asked. Maybe he really could see right through Jeongin. 

“Yeah,” he said. He looked down at what was left on the grill and poked at it with his chopsticks. “I don’t really want to see my mom yet.”

Felix was looking at Jeongin sadly when he finally looked back up, so he forced a quick smile at him. “Okay, let’s pay and we can go,” Felix ended up saying, looking from Jeongin to their server, who was across the room.

Once they were out of the restaurant, Felix slung his arm over Jeongin’s shoulder again, and squeezed him tighter than usual, reassuring him that he was there for him. They walked to the bus station together. “You can tell me anything, you know? At your own pace.”

“I know,” Jeongin said, genuinely smiling at Felix. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me,” Felix said once they were at the bus stop. He smiled back. “Anything for you.”


	3. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another time skip, this chapter is a bit longer than the others.

“Hey, babe,” Felix said softly, earning Jeongin’s attention. They were in Felix’s room on his bed on a Thursday night and it had been almost 3 days since Jeongin was last at his own house. His mother didn’t really care that he had been sleeping at someone else’s place considering the fact that she hadn’t even attempted to contact him to ask if he was safe. He hadn’t been home as much lately, and she seemed to be fine with it if she really even cared. “You can stay as long as you need, I want you to know that.”

Jeongin nodded slowly and pulled Felix closer to him, nuzzling his head further into his chest. He could feel and hear Felix hum happily, which comforted him. He closed his eyes, exhausted from spending most of his free time studying for final exams which were the following week. “I know. Thank you.”

Felix wrapped his arm around Jeongin’s waist and pressed a kiss into his hair. “No need to thank me, anything for you.”

Jeongin felt a warmth spread through his chest as Felix spoke. He wanted, more than anything, to not have to go back to his mother ever again, but deep down he knew that he would have to go back at some point, which terrified him. He couldn’t help but assume that she would yell at him when that time came. Whenever Jeongin would voice these concerns, Felix would ask if he wanted him to come along the next time he went home, but Jeongin would always tell him no. He didn’t want Felix to have to deal with how his mother had no shame in yelling at him. Even if Felix was there, she would still rip him to pieces with her words. He couldn’t bear the thought of Felix having to see that. 

Felix’s mother knocked on the door and quietly opened it, peeking her head in with a smile to let the two of them know that she finished cooking dinner. She left the door open when she walked away, knowing that the two of them would eventually come downstairs.

“You hungry?” Felix asked. Jeongin nodded and began unraveling himself from Felix so that the two of them could get up. He was wearing one of Felix’s sweatshirts since he hadn’t been home in a few days. The weather had also started to get a little colder recently.

When the two of them got downstairs, Jeongin was greeted by both of Felix’s sisters, who had just come home and were already sitting at the table. Jeongin smiled at them and happily greeted them back. Felix’s older sister asked him how school was going. He told her that it was going well, but he was stressed out about exams. That was basically his default answer to that question.

Felix’s entire family treated him well. Even when Felix told them one night that Jeongin was his boyfriend, they welcomed him into their family and their home with open arms. It made his heart feel so full that he had to bite back his happy tears. He had only known them for the better part of 5 months, but he felt more like part of a family here than he did with his mother. This is what a real home was like; filled with love and appreciation for one another. Jeongin wasn’t even sure that he had ever heard his mother say that she loved him. He honestly didn’t know if he even knew what it felt like, but he thought, maybe, he could feel it whenever he was with Felix. 

They all chatted easily amongst themselves as they ate, and once everyone was done, Jeongin thanked Felix’s mother for the food and the two of them retreated back up to Felix’s room. 

“I always eat a ton whenever I’m here. Your mom’s cooking is so good,” Jeongin said as he followed Felix into his room. 

“So I’ve heard,” Felix laughed. “She’d be flattered to hear that.”

Once the door was closed, Jeongin fell onto Felix’s bed with a sigh. Felix remained standing at the edge of his bed, observing Jeongin. “Everything okay?”

Jeongin was quiet for a moment before he spoke again, turned to look up at Felix. “I’m probably going to have to go home after school tomorrow.”

Felix frowned and Jeongin continued. “I know that she doesn’t really care, but I just feel obligated to let her know that I’m like, alive.”

“Do you know if she’ll be home tomorrow?” Felix asked. 

“After school, yeah. Tomorrow’s a Friday so she’s usually home so that she can get ready to go clubbing, or whatever she does. I never really ask.”

“I can come with you this time if you want.”

Jeongin thought about protesting and telling him that he would be fine by himself, that this was something that he could deal with, that this was something that he  _ always  _ dealt with, but something stopped him. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” he said. 

Jeongin just went through the motions the next day, all throughout the school day. He knew that Felix could tell that something was up, but because he knew what it was, he didn’t ask. Jeongin appreciated that more than he could ever say. At lunch, like normal, they sat on the roof. Felix kept him distracted by talking about the movie they were planning to go see tomorrow and about how he was worried about not doing well on one of his exams next week. When Jeongin didn’t have much to say, Felix didn’t comment on it. 

When lunch ended, Felix kissed his temple and told him that when the final bell rang, he would be waiting in their usual place. Jeongin simply nodded. 

Once that time came, Jeongin really wished that he cared less. He wished he cared as little about his mother as she cared about him so that he didn’t feel like he owed it to her to show his face. The last thing that he wanted to do right now was to go back home. He imagined that she would have something snarky to say to him when she saw him again. At the thought, he began to regret agreeing to bring Felix along. She’d probably say something to him too. 

Felix stood by Jeongin at his locker as he pulled out the bag of dirty clothes he had been wearing at Felix’s house for the past few days. At least he could pick up some more stuff from his room when he got back. They linked their pinkies as they walked towards Jeongin’s house, most of the talking being on Felix’s end to keep them from walking in silence. Jeongin pulled his hand away from Felix’s when his house was in sight. 

The front door was unlocked, which wasn’t surprising. His mother’s car was in the driveway, so she was definitely here. “Mom?” Jeongin called, kicking off his shoes by the door. Felix did the same. “I’m home.”

“Where the hell have you been?” she demanded, walking into view. Jeongin just stared at her when she continued. “And who’s this?”

Jeongin cast him an apologetic glance as he introduced him to her. “This is my friend from school, Felix. I was staying at his house.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Felix said politely, bowing slightly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving him off. She turned around to go back to where she had just come from. “I won’t be back until late tonight, so I don’t care what you do.”

“Okay,” Jeongin said as she walked out of view. He turned to Felix and beckoned him to follow. “I need to get a few things from my room.”

Jeongin emptied the contents of his bag into the hamper in his room and stuffed a few other items into it. Felix was quiet as he glanced around Jeongin’s room. It was his first time here, after all.

“Okay, let’s go,” Jeongin said after a few more moments, wanting more than anything to just be away from there. Once they were safely out of the house without bumping into his mother again, Jeongin spoke up. “I’m sorry she was so rude to you. It was probably because I wasn’t there alone, but that was actually pretty tame for her.”

“That’s okay,” Felix said. “To be honest, from how you’d described her, I wasn’t expecting all that much.”

By the time that they got back to Felix’s house, Jeongin was ready to go to sleep, despite it being only almost 5 o’clock. He was reminded yet again of how much of a caring family the Lees were when Felix’s little sister said hello to him as he walked by. All of them were home by this time it seemed, and they were all relaxed since the week was finally over. Jeongin reminded himself that he could let go of the tension when he was here, even if it were just for a few blissful days. He took a deep breath and let his shoulders drop from where they were nearly at his ears.

Felix noticed. “What’s on your mind?”

“I can relax here,” he said simply, the words carrying a weight that the innocence of the phrase didn’t imply. He dropped his bags on the floor by Felix’s bed once they made it up the stairs and into his room. The latter had an unreadable expression on his face. Perhaps there was a tinge of sadness, but despite that, he put a smile on his face. He pulled Jeongin into his embrace and hugged him tightly.

“I’m glad,” Felix said, his voice hardly above a whisper. 

Sometimes, Jeongin found himself thinking back to that day the Felix found him on the roof. The gentleness of the hand that touched his shoulder, the one that grounded him that time and many other times past that, had become a constant in his life. His comfort was like a breath of fresh air after being stuck somewhere stuff for so, so long. 

Jeongin squeezed Felix a little tighter. Home is where the heart is, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i'm gonna pretend that i didn't forget about this for over 6 months


End file.
